no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
