If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
