it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
