it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
