if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
