I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ladies don't puke and tell
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
