Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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