Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
