Where is the hickey?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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