My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize