Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize