You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
