My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
try to milk me bitch
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