barbara walters just said penis...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
