never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
