i don't plan on having that self control this summer
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
