The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
