I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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