So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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