so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
