i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do herpes really smell.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
