Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
