I hate all girls vehemently.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
