i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
