your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
