What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
