I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
