She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
