the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
