I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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