i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
