Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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