First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
