i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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