i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
