So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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