Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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