did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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