Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
