Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
