it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
