I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
