if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
