We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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