another moral hangover. fuck.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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