I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I need moral support for this bender
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
