her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
