You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
