another moral hangover. fuck.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
