So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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