JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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