How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
