But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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