It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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