my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
