It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
