Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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