So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
