you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
