someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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