Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
