i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
