Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
