He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
