We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize