I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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