ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
