I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
