cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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